Junebug

Just a short update about June.  My last few visits she either sleeping in front of her meal or at bingo and did not respond to me.

But the last visit she was in the lounge listening to a visiting singer and gave me a big Howdy when I said hello.!

BYE BYE BIRDIE

In the Broadway play/movie Conrad Birdie is an Elvis type singer drafted into the army.

My Conrad was really in the army.  He suffers from aphasia which means he has a hard time communicating his thoughts.  His brain is sharp but but to say them is hard.  But we manage.

Conrad does not mingle with the other residents except for meals.  Other than that he walks around for exercise and watches TV.

On my last visit he was quiet, saying he had a headache.  So I sat and watched with him.. As usual it was a Law and Order.  After some time had past he said...Do you know why I like these shows?   These show are about police and  he was an MP in the army during WWII stationed in Germany.  I would think the aphasia developed after the war...perhaps a head injury


He proceeded to tell me about Germany  during the end of the war, a lady he had liked and his last job...guarding Nazi war criminals.

I believe much of this is true...because he can remember current and past news, etc.

I hope my Conrad is around for quite awhile because he has had an interesting life.

Conrad comes from a prominent family  in up state New York.  I have googled them and he has answered my questions.  However, he doe not want anyone to contact them.. I would suppose anyone that he knew has long past.

But he knows me.

CORRINE: LOVE, LOSS and WHAT I WORE by N. & D. Ephron

For many months my visits with Corrine I have patiently listening to her complaints...she doesn't belong in assisted living...her TV, her money, etc.  With a smile and some diversion of conversation we would talk.

Yesterday was a major breakthrough.  We finally got beyond that ( though the complaints are weaved into our conversations).  While talking about Mothers Day she said that the place had a lovely day and flowers were given.  I told her that I visited my mom at the cemetery.  She expressed her condolences.  I assured her it was ok, mentioned that my mom had also been in an assisted living facility and that she could be my mom for the day and as her daughter I would listen to her complaints.  Corrine actually smiled and laughed.

Let me note that Corrine is not able to live alone due to her health and not able to control her finances.  When it comes to the world she is totally up to date and mentioned about the tragedy of the recent oil spill.  The finance part is unfortunate as she has a college degree in Business Administration and worked as a bookkeeper in NYC for many years.  But my mother Sarah had a degree in Business Administration and after raising my brothers and me became a very successful life insurance salesperson.
In today's world though computers and technology change everything and they probably could not do their work now.

You may be wondering about now what the title of this post refers to.  Well...turns out Corrine's first love was singing.
She told me about several gigs and auditions.  But the one that is amazing is that she either auditioned or sung at Folk City, a coffeehouse in The Village in 1952.  Bob Dylan played his first professional gig there on April 11, 1961.  After a review of a performance there in September 1961, his reputation was made.  and here's the thing...Corrine's eyes lit up as she remembered the day she was there and what she wore...a red and white striped dress.

Love, Loss and What I Wore...that day was a Love day for Corrine.

Que Sera Sera

Remember that song...Giselle Mackenzie made it a Number one hit many many many years ago.  Well Norma and I sang it together a few weeks ago   during our visit.  It came about on a chat about children, life...What ever will be, will be.

Norma is a tiny little woman.  When I visit I am usually wearing heels and next to Norma I feel like a very tall person...maybe 5ft 3 at that point.

We have met three or four times.  The first was when she had just settled in at the assisted living facility and was very happy and chatty.  Two weeks later she was angry and thought her clothes had been taken.
Two weeks after that she was sitting quietly in the activity room wearing a lovely shawl.  I said hello and told her how lovely it was.  Her response was "Thank you" and "Do I know you?".  That was a short visit.

I should mentioned that she worked for 18 years at a local library as a clerk and is quite proud of it..as well she should be.  I even googled an old news article where she was quoted about how the library a had needed the bus shelter that was finally installed.
Norma has been quoted and that is tangible and will always be an affirmation (my new favorite word) that Norma existed.

 Back to the beginning of this posting..Que Sera Sera...whatever will be, will be.  That takes in life and the world today and that's just how it is.
We are in agreement on that!

I need your comments/feedback

I know that everyone wants to pat me on the back on what a wonderful thing I am doing and it is greatly appreciated...but...more importantly, let me know  your honest feelings or thoughts about human contact, growing old, what is important .  Of course I always would enjoy suggestions on things to do on my visits.  There will be others I write about...everyone different...You will get to know them post by post.

thanks
xoxoxololo

A visit with June

April 29, 2010

This week I went to visit June at her assisted living facility.  Since January when we first started  meeting, June's dementia has escalated.  ...but that doesn't diminish our visits.  It's all about human contact, and it doesn't have to be verbal.

Though we no longer "converse and laugh"... a visit is a visit.  Sometimes I bring books with pictures of large red hearts and silver stars.  She will touch them and I feel that brings color into her life.

This visit, as in the last few I found June asleep in a chair.  Today it was BINGO...and here's where I think...Let's Play...maybe after 50 years I (oops, I meant June) could win!'  Wake up June! and she does...we admire the markers, I rub her shoulders and help her find the numbers.  It was a good time, but alas, we did not win a game (but were so close several times).
But, jokes aside...The nice part was that June was awake and looked quite nice with a new haircut and clean clothes.  About thirty minutes later after visiting with someone else ( another night, another posting)with a quick peek I saw that June was still up and enjoying an afternoon snack.

So...do we say "Poor June"??? maybe...but look at it from another angle. Circumstances that we will never know brought June to this point of her life and naturally we all hope that will not happen to us...No family or friends that we know of.

And so I am that family/friend...if only for an hour every ten days. I truly care about her..she may sleep many days aways and not be sad...but not on my day.

Human contact is so important to the end of our days.  And if you can laugh and smile a bit - which we do - how much the better.